Friday, June 14, 2013

Saturn Retro 2013, 68- Negation of Negation

14th Jun, Friday,  2013. Today’s  the 14th day, of the three week Ultra Retro phase. The third and final phase of Annual Saturn Retro, 2013.  Another one week remaining. For this most dreaded, acute, intense three week phase of Ultra Retro to end. And thus finally conclude, the Annual Saturn Retrograde, 2013.

For me, this year’s three week period of Ultra Retro 2013 has become a reversal/ Karmic recompense of Ultra Retro 2009. A year when I went to Paris, along with my wife on her official tour, despite the death of my then astro guru T.N. Sarma. An unimaginable digression for a Saturnine creature, Saturn ruled person like myself. 

In fact, it was (un)knowingly my fourth year in sequence of such major digressions, violations during the annual Saturn Retrograde phase. This history of transgressions/ violations of mine during Saturn Retrograde began from 2005-6 itself..

In Saturn Retro 2005-6, I married ( such a major and quantum change in life) and shifted base from Guwahati to Delhi

In Saturn Retro 2006-07, I completely hurled myself headlong into an interior project for a travel agency at the heart of Connaught Place, a prime New Delhi location. The project was an unbelievable disaster, and so was the fate of the short lived span of the travel agency. 

In Saturn Retro 2008, I teamed up on multiple levels with a sizeable group of friends, architects for a mega/ grand  villa project connected to Medicity, which never materialised.  In my recent years, as I regularly visit Medicity for my father-in- laws treatment, I look back at the fictious bogus virtuality of the imagined project of Retro 2008. 

In Saturn Retro 2009, the fourth consecutive year of violation of Saturn Retro, I pushed things to limit. After a long, successful campaign to re-register my missing certificates, from the university of Mumbai, I was in a long architectural training programme, under my friend in Mumbai. 
On 13th April, the very first morning of  the three week period of Ultra Retro 2009, the news of death of my then astro guru T.N. Sarma reached us. Despite the shock, fallout, I still went along with my wife to Paris on her official tour. Saturn retrograde, especially the three week intense sub period of Ultra Retro, is a period for Saturnine people to say NO. But I made the classic mistake of saying YES, when I should have said NO! The sudden windfall Paris Trip was the most fantastic/ virtual/ UN-Real trip of my life. And it happened bang on the peak Retrograde energies of Ultra Retro 2009. This fourth and final consecutive year of repeated violation during Saturn retrograde, completely sealed my Karmic Recompense schedule for my next four years. And hence, from 2009 itself, there has been a huge incidence of Karmic repayment, atonement, for me. Especially during the period of Annual Saturn Retrograde For the gross indiscretion of the previous Saturn Retro years (2006- 2009).  

Last few days, have been intensely sharing/ discussing reading Slavoj Zizek’s “Interrogating The Real”, in great detail, with my friend Mriganka Madhukaillya. It is one of Zizerk’s epically loaded book with with valuable insights. In it, in the concept of “Negation of the Negation”, Zizek says: “ Each fantasmatic Object conceals the Gaping Void within itself , which is also SUSTAINED by it.. 

In Saturn Retro 2009, during Ultra Retro when the fantasmatic/  /Virtual/ Unreal Paris trip happened, it concealed within itself, the underlying seed/ promise/ guarantee of the Great Void to be unfolded later. Later, as Saturn turned directional, the object/ desire of the Paris Trip Reversed/ NEGATED itself and turned into the Great Void. A harsh desert of ghoulish underlying reality, what Roland Barthes calls the "Dis-Real", ever since. This year (un) consciously, like a sci-fi character in a Time Loop, I am attempting to reverse the violations of previous years of Saturn retrograde, by the method of Negation of the Negation!!!

By creating a forced Event of a looming great Void!! A simulated  phase of Acute Lacking, to counteract the Primal mistake of the Paris Trip, 2009. Creating a demonic apparition, in order to purge/ negate/ REVERSE a former fantastic catastrophe!!

In another instance, Zizek also discusses a very famous historical European figure, who was an authentic, Public, Mystic in daytime. And a hardcore, shrewd, political activist in nighttime. Zizek says: “Being a public, authentic mystic, and highly political in your private experience. No guarantee, what the political effects of your subjective experience will be..”. This time, in Ultra Retro, I’m exactly experiencing the phenomenon of this very dark flipside. The subjective experience of my being a Public Astro/ Vaastu consultant by “daytime”.  And the flipside of The NIGHTmarish private, political, subjective, residue. EXACTLY, what I’m experiencing during this Ultra Retro, 2013. The complex, hideous, subjective, serpentine, conflict/ melodrama within. A perfect ANTI-thesis  of the Grand Epical event of Paris Trip, Ultra Retro 2009!

This Ultra Retro 2013, finds me STILL lingering about in hometown Guwahati. Subjectively experiencing private, complex, conflicts of the deepest backwaters During Saturn Retro 2005-6, I had married, and set forth to Delhi, as a medicine to the irresolution/ stagnation experienced in hometown Guwahati. Trying to  “transcended” the gravity of Guwahati, the Freudian act to “solve” the perpetual problem. However, the “medicine/ solution” of Delhi was a higher disease in disguise. The act of moving base during the inappropriate time, of Saturn Retro 2009 has found me existing in a  pathological/ crippling homesickness ever since. Ideologically  trapped ever since, betwixt two worlds, and realities. This year, finds me submitting to the natural inertia/ conflict/ scizophernia latent in my hometown Guwahati. Maybe this RETURN/ RGRESSION to former rresolution/ conflict is the true healing process? The perfect Lacanian medicine of Saturn Retrograde. What  Zizek calls.. “Negation of the Negation”.
Like, most others, I too have the desire towards all things phoren/ abroad/ bidesh the OTHER.  Which is a healthy, progressive, drive, essentially, BUT provided, this fascination/ longing for the other shore/ greener pastures has appropriate approach/ timing. Otherwise, such an attempt/ endeavour can severely backfire and make one reach the farthest backwaters of the very swamps, one had been trying to transcend. During Retro 2009, when I was unwillingly prepared for my Paris trip, a grand adventure, the lottery ticket of an unimaginable vacation, the melodrama was all about a Positivist/ Forward/ Rapture/ Breakthrough movement. Today,  Ultra Retro 2013, the melodrama is all about Return/ Negation/ Relapse/ Regression/ Residue. Existential questions about  Void/ foundation/ roots/ base. In 2009, it was about a Paris/ fantasmatic trip abroad, the Irresistible desire of the OTHER!  And this year, 2013, merely about return to my current city of residence, it’s about the VOID/ Gravity of the inescapable ONE. Destiny/ Reality/ Truth!! Whereas, in 2009,  the Paris trip was all about an universally recognised/ approved/ endorsed/ movement forward PROGRESSION. But this Ultra Retro 2013, my delayed return to Delhi, hanging around in hometown is all about unrecognised/ disapproved/ misunderstood/ stagnation, backward regression.  There was a tremendous universal glamour associated with the Paris trip of Ultra Retro ’09, but it was a fleeting, fantastic. An unreal fleeting simulacra. A fantsmatic object of DESIRE which, I’m trying to counteract with its diametric, diagonal inverse.  By the Zizekian procedure of “Negation of the Negation”. This time around, in Ultra Retro 2013.